The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money
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New York Times Bestseller
“We all want to raise children with good values—children who are the opposite of spoiled—yet we often neglect to talk to our children about money. . . . From handling the tooth fairy, to tips on allowance, chores, charity, checking accounts, and part-time jobs, this engaging and important book is a must-read for parents.” — Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
In the spirit of Wendy Mogel’s The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman’s Nurture Shock, New York Times “Your Money” columnist Ron Lieber delivers a taboo-shattering manifesto that explains how talking openly to children about money can help parents raise modest, patient, grounded young adults who are financially wise beyond their years.
For Ron Lieber, a personal finance columnist and father, good parenting means talking about money with our kids. Children are hyper-aware of money, and they have scores of questions about its nuances. But when parents shy away from the topic, they lose a tremendous opportunity—not just to model the basic financial behaviors that are increasingly important for young adults but also to imprint lessons about what the family truly values.
Written in a warm, accessible voice, grounded in real-world experience and stories from families with a range of incomes, The Opposite of Spoiled is both a practical guidebook and a values-based philosophy. The foundation of the book is a detailed blueprint for the best ways to handle the basics: the tooth fairy, allowance, chores, charity, saving, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, checking accounts, clothing, cars, part-time jobs, and college tuition. It identifies a set of traits and virtues that embody the opposite of spoiled, and shares how to embrace the topic of money to help parents raise kids who are more generous and less materialistic.
But The Opposite of Spoiled is also a promise to our kids that we will make them better with money than we are. It is for all of the parents who know that honest conversations about money with their curious children can help them become more patient and prudent, but who don’t know how and when to start.
Publisher : Harper Paperbacks; Reprint edition (February 23, 2016)
Language : English
Paperback : 256 pages
ISBN-10 : 0062247026
ISBN-13 : 978-0062247025
Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
Dimensions : 5.31 x 0.58 x 8 inches
Customers say
Customers find the concepts in the book good, and it discusses various strategies for teaching children how to earn, save, and give. They also say the book is engaging, relevant, and easy to read in a narrative way.
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9 reviews for The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money
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Original price was: $18.99.$13.27Current price is: $13.27.
Dan Danford –
The Opposite of Spoiled is the opposite of default.
Children will learn about money. What they learn is up to us. Theyâll either learn by intention or by default. Default feels unacceptable in our affluent society.Lieber is an accomplished financial writer with a passion for kids and money. The Opposite of Spoiled offers some great insight into Americaâs last taboo: money. In a culture that routinely exploits religion, race, sex, and violence, money may be the last frontier. Money is the one subject not discussed at our family dinner tables. Too many kids â from all rungs of the economic ladder – learn about values and money by default.Intentionality is the strength of this book. Lieber chronicles a variety of parents and how theyâve deliberately approached allowances, summer jobs, family trade-offs, gift-giving, consumer needs, wants, values, and charities. Not all solutions will fit all families, and thatâs not the point anyway. The point is to be intentional about the money lessons in our own families. The point is to be intentional about the money lessons for our children.Lieber doesnât lecture. Stories make this book powerful. He invites us to meet thoughtful parents with unique expertise and perspective on the child-money challenge. How would a renowned philanthropist revamp middle school gift-giving? How would a successful real estate agent illustrate the opportunities and limitations of a large monthly paycheck? How does a Utah farm family teach the value of hard work to their children?This isnât a book laden with scholarly studies, although those works are present. Rather, it is a dynamic presentation of ideas and thinking about important life lessons for children. The Opposite of Spoiled is the opposite of default.
D S –
Lots of good practical points
Good book. Easy enjoyable read, has some good points. Stressed the give part heavily. That’s hard for a child to care about. We keep 2 jars, spend and save and at Christmas discuss giving to a good cause. I liked points of discussing the cause, and what the child feels is important. Is giving to the Art museum really helping people who need it, or giving to a homeless shelter or animal shelter? The depth of these questions was brought to my attention, neat how their daughter’s private school has round table discussions about it. Has made me think about this in a different light when talking with my kids about what they think is important
Olivia A. –
it seemed like the perfect time to pick it up
I heard about The Opposite of Spoiled through Ron Lieber’s appearance on the Art of Manliness podcast last year. His logical, thoughtful approach to teaching kids about money struck me, especially since many of them contradicted what I’d always assumed I would do as a parent. Providing an allowance in exchange for chores was a given to me–until Lieber gave his counterargument that chores and household tasks are something that should be expected of every member of the family without reciprocation, since it’s just part of being a person. We’re always going to have to do chores, and at some point we’re going to stop receiving a paycheck to do them. That fascinated me, and I knew at that moment I’d need to read this book before I had children. Since my husband and I are now expecting our first child, it seemed like the perfect time to pick it up.While this book seems to be aimed at those in much higher income brackets than my husband and myself, I felt it was an incredibly valuable resource. I appreciate the depth of Lieber’s research–rather than postulating theories and framing himself as a standalone expert, he spent a good deal of time traveling and interviewing families of all income levels and lifestyles to get their perspectives, as well as offering his own advice. I recommend this book to all parents, those who plan to be parents, and those who come into regular contact with children. It’s truly eye-opening, inspiring, and motivating.
Momproff –
A bit too âRaising Kids Who Are Grounded Even If Youâre Notâ
There were some helpful ideas in here for how to talk to kids about money, manage their allowance, and instill gratitude and a strong work ethic in them. But ultimately, it was really hard to look past the elephant in the room in so many examples: the materialism and lack of groundedness that characterizes a lot of people highlighted in his examples and, presumably, many of the people this book seems to target. The book is at its most helpful when it straightforwardly tells readers to be transparent with their kids about moneyâfrom budgeting to answering the question âAre we rich?â But itâs hard to read when itâs advising parents who send their kids to elite private schools and summer camps, when itâs talking about how to make lower-income friends given the (unchallenged) reality of housing and education segregation, or when itâs telling readers to have their kids pay for some of their college expenses as though itâs not simply the reality (and a common sense value connected to work ethic) for the vast majority of Americans. It also doesnât ever address the idea that there actually are limits to what we ought to spend on our kids, even for the most well-off. Given the correlation the author talks about between high levels of materialism and lower levels of happinessâand the realities of climate change and a finite planet that he doesnât ever talk aboutâwe donât have to struggle to articulate reasons for limiting what our kids have when we have enough money to buy them more. The reasons are all around usâAmericans consume too much, and itâs bad for us and for the planet. Itâs a message that kidsâand their parents most of all, it seems from this bookâneed to hear. And they wonât listen to what we tell them about money if we donât live it ourselvesâsomething this book doesnât point out to those readers who actually do, apparently, have âtoo much.â
Sara –
This book came highly recommended to me as a first time parent. As an individual with strong ideals and morals, it recounts many other parentsâ methods of instilling values in their children. It is not a âhow toâ book, but a book of ideas, take and try what you feel will work within your family situation and structure.
F Daddy –
I loved this book. It has helped to start conversations with my children about money and value. Instead of asking for treats, my kids have their own money and try to get good value for it – they realise the value of pooling their resources and buying in bulk. They understand the benefits of saving and consider the relative merits of things they choose to save for. They have engaged with society from different perspective as they consider ways to use their charitable giving pots, such as contributing to charities they see in the news or ordering a grocery delivery to an adult friend who couldn’t get to the supermarket in lockdown. I am excited about the things that they have learned from reading this book and have hopes for their financial competence in adulthood.
Pappa –
I had high hopes for this book, but was disappointed. The main content of this book are examples of how other people are educating their children about money. Basic ideas like giving them responsibility and talking about money are repeated many times, making the book very repetitive. There is very little actual critical analysis about children and money, even though the author refers to some published material like articles, the book reads much like a superficial newspaper column.
Priyadarshi Vaibhav –
Okay book..better get it through a library
altbate –
Really excellent and thought provoking book about raising children who really can think about money. Lots of case studies, lots of good ideas, and suggestions of how to talk to your children about wants vs needs, spending vs saving, charitable giving and so on. Highly recommend.